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clearlyambiguity
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Name: Ambiguous
Gender: Female
Interests: Life and all it encompasses.
Expertise: This is a laughable word, for who among us is truly an expert? Expertise requires perfection, perfection is held captive by the perspective in which we live.
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/1/2006
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| It is unclearly left to be. No explanation of the terms.
The condition is dependence on ME, perhaps you see MY qualified arms.
Some may feel the embrace is evasive,
Others have known ME.
The choice is yours.
You may fall into ME or fall away from ME.
May I suggest the softer option?
*Lord, may I trust You?. . .regardless of the blurring path ahead. May I trust You? I no longer question, I request. . carve me into a woman of faith, Precious One! | | |
| *ATTENTION ALL FEMALES*
I need your addresses!!! Some ladies are throwing me a shower, and I do not have addresses from all you wonderful girls.
You can email them to me by clicking: email me (on the left) (please let me know who the address belongs too, when you email it)
I need them by Sunday, so please send them pronto, por favor!
Thanks.
On to other things. I am still looking for a job for July and August, but this week and next week I am working at the Convention, answering phones n'stuff. After that, I have no clue what I will do, ideas???anyone??
Ps. I love Ragan.
More later. . .bye. | | |
| A loss is a loss
A tear is a tear
A sigh is a sigh
A fear is a fear
How tragically we strive to overcome it,
And stand as though the sorrow has never been.
Emotions rise and pain enters our stomach,
And woe survives only to be quenched again.
I am sad. | | |
| The Plot
In a very devious and oh-so cruel way, Ragan managed to keep me wondering where his' affection lay, FOR WEEKS! So, much so that I was crying in frustration with him the Sunday before he proposed. He hated lying to me, but wanted so much to surprise me, that he stuck it out. . .I think I'm glad.
The "Date"
So, the sweet boy said he wanted to take me out, because he had not been able to for our one year "anniversary". I believed him, of course. He said it was going to be a two-fold date. For the first part I needed to wear closed-toed shoes and jeans, and the second part I needed to be dressed really nice. So, I think. . ."Hmm. . .I bet we're going horseback riding or hiking." (the thought of proposal, had not entered my mind at this point)
I deeply apologize. . .here is the continuation of the story. . . .
Thursday creeps forth and I wait in anticipation. When he gets here I am so excited about his presence that I don't really think about anything else. We get in the car and travel far away to the mysterious land of Mayflower. (About 1 hour away) As we are traveling, we are listening to "Legends of the Fall". Well, for those who know me well, you might remember that I desire greatly to walk down the aisle to violins playing "The Ludlows" from this CD. I mention this to Ragan, who has a very odd look on his' face!
Horses, Horses, Horses,
We arrive and yes, we are going horse back riding! Yay! I love horses. So, I am so excited about getting on a horse, that I am thinking of nothing else. Ragan has ridden horses maybe once or twice, so this was a sacrifice for him. I was thinking how sweet it was that he wanted to do something that he might not enjoy, but he knew I loved. I was so impressed with the selflessness of it.
The Ride
We mount and ride for about twenty-five minutes. During this time, Ragan and I are carrying on a conversation with the guide. We quickly discover her mentality about God and are talking to her about that. The sun is slowly sinking as we round the corner and see the Arkansas river. It's beautiful! The water is responding to the rays and glistening like crystal. There is a stretch of sand and a grassy knoll. Sigh, it's wonderful. I notice a bench and guitar sitting perfectly placed, facing out to the river. I muse aloud, "Huh, that's funny, I guess someone comes out here to play the guitar."
To this the guide responds, "Uh. .yeah. .uh. .some kid comes out here sometimes."
"Oh." I say, bemused.
The Escape
The guide then says that she wants to let us off to take pictures because a lot of people take pictures at this spot. "Okay," I think," that's nice. . .odd, but nice."
We dismount and the guide gets back on her horse and takes off! Immediately, our horses (which were tied up) break free and canter off after her. Ragan and I stand and watch. Odd.
The "MOMENT"
Ragan suddenly takes my hand and leads me to the bench where the guitar is. As we approach I notice that there is a tray containing a vase full of flowers, a container of ice and sparkling grape juice, and champagne glasses. "Hey, that's my mom's tray. ." I say in surprise. First clue in moment: "Oh, Ragan did all this for me! Wow, what a great date." ( I am still uncharacteristically, oblivious)
Ragan seats me on the bench, kneels next to it and picks up his' guitar. His eyes sparkle and he starts singing/playing a song he wrote for me. It was beautiful, no. . . gorgeous. I was absolutely melted to pieces. Halfway through the song I started to realize what he was saying, words like "forever" and "love" and "life-time". Second clue in moment: "Oh, my gosh, he wouldn't be singing that if he wasn't about to propose. . .IS HE PROPOSING???. .no, he's not proposing."
Ragan finished the song, set down the guitar and moved over in front of me on his knees. Taking my hands in his, he began. He started by telling me that he was sorry that he had been lying to me for two weeks!! Then he told me how he always thought you could be compatible with anyone. . .until now. He said that after studying scripture and seeing Godly marriages, he believed that God gives us someone who completes us. He shared how he studied Adam and Eve, and that Eve was the Completion of Adam. . .that he was not whole with out her. He said that I was his' completion, and that he wanted to spend the rest of his' life with me. He then took the ring out of the guitar case, opened the box and said, "Rebecca Lynn Elliff, will you marry me?"
I stared at the ring, stared at him, stared at the ring, then I thought, "BECCA, he just asked you to marry him, ANSWER HIM!. . .I looked up and said "yes", of course.
Then he told me how much he loved me. And. . .I had my first kiss (ever in my life). tee hee.
We sat and talked and drank sparkling grape juice for awhile, took pictures and then got back on the horses and rode back.
WAIT, IT'S NOT OVER!
Then we went back to Little Rock and got cleaned up and dressed up nice. He then, Mister-bundle-of-surprises-that-do-not-end, took me to Nu, which is a super ritzy restaurant downtown. We had a table reserved, with a sign that said, "Mr. Ragan Washington and Bride-to-be Rebecca Elliff". There was a huge bouquet of 2 dozen of my favorite roses and the sparkling grape juice from the field in a champagne flue. It was WONDERFUL!
Family Time
After that we went to my Parents' where my entire family was waiting! We had the neatest prayer time together for our marriage and our relationship. It was precious!
And that, my friends, is the whole story. Absolutely splendid, Ragan is AmAzInG and I L-O-V-E Him!
Have a spectacular day! | | |
| So, why is this such a struggle for me? Trust.
Why do I hold out my hand still, and say. . .this is not enough?
I am tired of trying to figure you out, tired of trying to understand your ways
They penetrate my thoughts and complicate.
Can't you just tell me simply? Why do I have to pay the price of friendship first.
How can the two things merge?
I changed my mind about what I desire, I no long want this life on fire.
I want joy and freedom to live without confusion.
It's simple really, I desire to live in a fairytale. Is that possible, I think it may be.
I suppose if I escape reality then I will truly find freedom from all that hinders me.
Oh, wait. . .that sounds like nirvana.
It's a lie, the truth of reality suppressed is simply storing up baggage to sort another day.
It will overwhelm you, beware.
Or be won, by the only steady pace that can be found in tumultuous dreams.
He. | | |
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